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Do For Others (But Be Genuine)


Chris Spivey

SHOCKING STATMENT ALERT........ I don't drink coffee.  I'm sure most of you are thinking right now that you couldn't imagine a day without coffee.  I thought I was possibly the last adult on the planet not drinking a daily dose of hot caffeine until a couple of weeks ago when I met a new client, Tim.  We were planning to meet somewhere for the first time to discuss Tim's goals.  I mentioned a coffee shop naturally assuming he was like everyone else needing a hot cup of joe while we got to know each other.  To my surprise, Tim said that would be fine, but he didn't drink coffee.  We met and we're on our way to hopefully developing a long term relationship, just without the coffee.

My wife is a coffee drinker, sipping a couple of cups a day.  Like most I'm sure, her first movement getting out of bed in the morning is straight for the coffee.  I think there's even a path worn in the floor from her side of the bed to the magical coffee machine in the kitchen.  Several years ago, before going to bed I decided to put everything out for her that she would need in the morning for her morning coffee routine.  This was a small gesture just to help start her day off with me doing something for her.  The next morning she wakes up, follows her path to the kitchen, but this time she returns to tell me how sweet I am.  That night I did the same thing and had everything ready for her in the morning.  Next morning, same result, I'm showered with compliments.  As you can imagine, I'm starting to like all the nice things she's saying about me.  That night, you guessed it, I did it again.  Only the next morning, there's a different result.

My wife had a busy morning with an early appointment and had to get out the door quickly.  She was getting ready as quickly as possible so there was no acknowledgement of the morning coffee gesture.  I had something important I needed to share with her and asked if she had just a minute.  She didn't have the time and with a quick kiss, she was out the door.  Instead of understanding she was in a hurry, what was my selfish thought?  "She doesn't have a minute for me?  Well, I'm not doing the coffee anymore."  With that reaction, who was I really doing the coffee gesture for?  Was I really doing it just to do something nice for my wife because she deserves it or was I selfishly doing it so I could hear what a great husband I was?  The answer is easy, I was being incredibly selfish.  I was doing it for myself.

Praise the Lord my life changed when I truly turned my life over to God and began living a life striving to be a Godly husband, father, and man.  I wasn't a bad guy before, but I saw how selfish and prideful I was.  I'm far from perfect and I'm always a work in progress, but today I live my life putting God, my family, and others first without expecting anything in return.  Putting my clients' needs first is the foundation of my business.  My absolute top priorities are protecting my clients' best interest and developing long term relationships with them.  My main concern is doing what's best for my client.  I don't focus on my paycheck.  Yes, this is my business and how I provide for my family, but I believe by putting my clients' needs first that eventually the paychecks will come.  The saying "Amateurs focus on sales and Professionals focus on relationships" is something I wholeheartedly believe in.

I hope this email helps you learn from my mistakes and puts you on a path of doing for others without truly expecting anything in return.  Your relationships will be stronger, your business will grow, and we'll make the world a better place.


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Chris Spivey
Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Aspiring Leader
RE/MAX Essential

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Chris Spivey · 1650 Military Cutoff Road, #100 · Wilmington, NC 28403 · USA

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